When my grandmother was depressed she said that she felt blue. Blue for her was a sad time. My grandmother also had beautiful pale blue eyes.  I have hazel eyes, but lately they have been feeling very blue.
I'm not unhappy, but I am blue and I've become so sad that I dragged down my old medicine tub from the top shelf in the bathroom closet to see if I could find my old prescription of generic paxil which I haven't taken for a few years. There it was, outdated, but then it was all I had until I could call my doctor and get a new script.
It's been 5 days now for the paxil and longer for the sadness. I had fought the feelings for about a week before I realized that they weren't going away. I tried all the usual hep talk and even self bullying, but I could take less and less action each day. Now I am kinder to myself and have treated the problem as though I have the flu or any other illness and I am no longer thinking that I have to talk myself out of this. I hate wasting the precious last days of this summer weather, when I really want to be outside in my garden, but my interest in anything that usually gives me pleasure is diminished for right now. I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone. I don't even care if I eat. Food just doesn't taste good. All the classic symptoms of depression-right? But like I said before, I am not really unhappy.
I haven't had anything in my life or relationships to cause me unhappiness. My daughter and my friend Aine are very supportive of me. I am guessing that my brain chemistry is just temporarily out of sync which the Paxil should take care of eventually. I have to get off the computer for now, Rexy is nagging me. He wants to use it for his blog.



I was lying in bed one night not too long ago and had just turned out my light when I heard what seemed like a herd of animals running over my head. I was terrified and couldn't imagine what it was. I thought that maybe it was something running on the roof, but it really sounded like some things running in my attic. I was too
scared to look either place. It was too late to call my son-in-luv Sachio so I waited until the next day, I did however sleep fitfully with the light on aware that the
door to the attic was just outside my bedroom in the hallway! Sachio couldn't come over that day, but said that he would the day after and reassured me saying that he was sure it was rats in the attic and that he would set traps. The next night-the same thing happened , I was not quite so startled (but still frightened) and was prepared with a flash light. So I went outside and flashed the light on the roof and nothing was there so I knew the sounds were coming from the attic INSIDE THE HOUSE. I also knew that it was too big to be rats. I kept thinking about the night raccoon(s) got into the garage and took the screw on tight lid off the cat food and hoped that if it was raccoon(s) they would not figure our how to move aside the unlocked lid from my attic leading to the hallway just outside my bedroom! Sachio came over the next day and set rat traps in the attic and noticed a hole where plumbing pipes were running from the garage attic, which was accessible to the cats and anything else that went into the garage attic. He patched the hole and I hoped that he didn't trap anything on the house side that couldn't escape. I didn't want anything to die up there either. After that we then went into the garage and he took a broom handle and pounded on the ceiling which was the under side of the garage attic floor. Just as he did this Stacey came into the garage when a huge raccoon looked down at us from the garage attic opening. Stacey screamed and ran back in the house because all she saw was it's big glowing eyes.

 I saw the full creature and hoped that it wouldn't jump down at us knowing their reputation for aggression.
It didn't.
I took the cats and their food out of the garage and closed it up for 2 days and on the 3rd opened the garage door after dark for a short time and I think hunger drove the thing out! When I do bring the cats back into the garage for the winter I will need to be very careful NEVER to leave access to the inside of the garage after dark thus inviting my boarder to return. He must have been up there for quite while even before he figured out the access to the house attic because one night I had left Rexy in the closed garage with the other cats while I was out and when I came home late and let him in he was hysterical hissing and growling and screaming at me for two day so bad that I had to take him to the Vet because he had caused his throat to inflame and swell up and could barely breathe. After exams and X-rays and meds I paid a $330 bill for him. AND I NEVER GOT ONE DIME FROM THAT FREE LOADING RACCOON!!!



I had a lovely time gardening today. No pressure, just doing some end of summer clean up. I've noticed that Spring refuses to discuss the garden with me let alone post what she's been observing in the garden. She's angry and says that I've let her rust and that is thoughtless and rude of me. I knew about her concern in this area, but explained to her that I just haven't gotten around to the chore of getting her in shape. 'Just my point' she says. I've also told her that rusted garden art is all the 'rage' and that she's in vogue just the way she is, but she doesn't buy it and counters with her job-her reason for existing-isn't as garden art, but as a continuing, lasting and vital reporter on the garden. She's just not a static art object! I felt pretty sheepish at this point and promised to attend to her soon. She then gave me the final dig of exposing the fact that I have resisted putting Flame the flamingo in the garden yet until I preserve her with a spray protectant. I felt so guilty at this point that I committed to starting work on her tomorrow. She's also insisted that I produce pictures of her before and after her rejuvenation and let my readers decide whether she was right in her indignation.
What else can I do? She IS such a value to the garden family and her blog really is an important communication about that family, so I humbly agreed to her requests (demands).
If you're not familar with Spring and her blog, check her out by clicking on her name.



I can't seem to get off the computer.
I've had 's-l-o-w-n-e-s-s' problems and
lock ups. So I've cleaned,deleted,
scanned and cleared everything I
could. Can't afford professional help
right now. Also, Stacey gave me a
'Chuzzle' disc and now I'm HOOKED.
I love those fuzzy big eyed little
electronic creatures. The game takes
so long and eats up my time.
So what. I guess that
is what retirement is for.

I love their big curious eyes and how
they look around everywhere and
especially wherever my mouse points.

If I linger too long on one of them,
They Frown! What fun!

There is also a TREASURE ROOM where
awards for big scores are kept.

Here's what I've won so far.

Now it might be said that I have TOO much time
on my hands, but I am retired, AND isn't that
always said of people who are silly and having
Do you like games, computer
or otherwise, and what do
you play? Leave me a comment.