Thanksgiving was especially blessed this year as Sachio's brother Shig and his wife Shanon and their children Abby and Ty came up from San Diego for Thanksgiving week. The men bonded over deep frying the turkey and women provided (plus CostCo for the pies) all the other delicious dishes. It was a truly wonderful day.



Spring has finished her Fall Garden Report and has posted it on her blog page. I put together the slidshow above of the photos on which she reported. I am very proud of the job which she is doing. She helps make the garden a more pleasant space for me and the kitties with her recommendations and observations. I am very greatful to Andrea for giving her to me


Ooma's ARRIVED and ALIVE!!!

I just finished
installing my new
Ooma telephone
modem (after alot
of frustration, I am electronically
CHALLENGED!) and I love it.
The clarity is great and no more
phone bills! The best part.



Another blogger on
'My Own Treasure Island'
told of a prom night experience of
hers' which was a dream night come
true only to be ruined by cruel kids.
I think that the 'humiliation' was
theirs, not hers, but I am no longer 14. Her
challenge for us is to relate our 'Most
embarrassing Moment' on our own blog with a
reference back to hers. So here is my story:
My mom and I moved from the freezing
winters of northern Indiana in a small town to
glamorous Hollywood California in 1960 when I
was a tender seventeen years old. Now this was
when Hollywood and Vine was truly glamorous
and appearing on a TV show, any TV show would
be the best 15 min's. of fame anywhere. If only
all those freezing people back in the Midwest who
didn't appreciate me any way could only see me
now! (and quiet all those nasty rumors about
anyone who moves to California MUST be
pregnant). Well we did get tickets to some game
show. I really don't remember which one. I was
thrilled and just knew that they would pick me.
They didn't, but while sitting in the audience near
the end of the show all of a sudden every bright
light in the world was shining in my face and the
host was asking me an obviously easy question.
A deer in the headlights would have had more of
a warning than me. Who was I? Where was I?
What's a question? Vaguely I heard voices
around me whispering from many miles away
something that I was suppose to answer. I
finally parroted whatever it was that was said.
I 'won' a set of encyclopedias and hoped that
every TV set in Indiana had died that day.



A few days ago I had been so
depressed about my daughter's
inability to do something seemingly
simple to me. Just invite me over
period. Anytime. In the meantime, I
went over to my friend Aine's for the
4th of July. She has had a miraculous
change of spirit since she had her
house thoroughly cleaned from top
to bottom by her new lady. Amazing
how a change in our environment
can effect our emotions. Still, I was
depressed the next day. Next I went
for lunch at my friend Andrea's after
picking up our lunch at Applebee's
and then something for Aine at
Costco. At Andrea's I washed and
cleaned her wrought iron crystal
cabnet since her carpet which fits
under it was out for cleaning and
would return the next day. After our
visit, I dropped over to Aine's and
we went out for dinner. Being with
others and doing things for others
has really helped with my mood.
I am feeling better today although I
know that I won't be 'cheerful' again
until I get that special invitation.
You are invited for a cup of tea


4TH OF JULY 2009

Happy Birthday America

I spent this 4th of July with
Aine. She had these huge
wonderful hot dogs. She
said that she loved a hot
dog to really Fill The Bun.
All they had on them was
yellow kid mustard. They
were great! Later after
dinner we drove over near
the CHP building in Arcata
and watched the fireworks.
A perfect location.
The view was excellent in spite of the fog.
I dropped Aine off at home and left for Loleta
right away. Just as I was entering Eureka I saw
the finale of their fireworks over the bay.
All in all it was a wonderful day although I did
miss the boys.



I went for my pre-surgery intake at
MRCH yesterday. Since I worked at
that hospital for 19 yrs. I'm pretty
comfortable there. Then I went out
to lunch with my friend Aine. We
ate Mexican. Yummy. I've been on
tea and lettuce long enough. Today
I feel lousy. No pain mind you, just
tummy pressure and yuckyness.
My surgeon's office never got back
to me about an earlier surgery date.
I guess that they are used to crabby,
panicky patients so ignoring them is
the best policy. Sorta like insurance
companies when a claim is made and
the 1st "no" is protested. Anyway, I'm
too weak to struggle anymore. I'll
stay away from the Yummy stuff until
I feel better. Back on tea and lettuce.



I called my surgeon this
Wednesday morning, I
did get past person #1
(who told me Monday
to go off dairy and call
back Friday. I whimpered so she
settled for Thursday) and person #2
said that she was busy with
something else and would call back.
It's now mid-afternoon and no call
back. I don't want to eat only lettuce
and drink tea for a month.



I told my surgeon that I would have my gallbladder out since the stones in it are small enough to pass and get caught in the opening to the pancreas causing pancreatitis which can be very serious. The surgery is scheduled for July 20th. Which wasn't far enough away for me. I didn't have any symptoms. No nausea. No pain. Only very, very, very mild slight stomach upset (so I thought). I scheduled an appointment with my primary doc for next Tues. just to get a 2nd opinion from him. Maybe without symptoms I could get him to agree with me to wait as long as possible. Well, I'm ready to cry 'Uncle!'. Today is the 3rd day that I feel miserable. There's a lead rock in my gut and I am perpetually queasy. I don't want to do anything, but sleep, or keep my brain so busy that I can ignore how miserable I feel. I am ready to call the surgeon and have my date moved up. I want to talk to my daughter first, but she's at the gym right now.
Any words of encouragment out there!?
I could use some right NOW.



Sometimes, I just get so
involved with what ever
my current addiction is
that I just can't pull
away. Today is one of
those days. I have
fussed with lost images
from the
until I am nearly crazy!
I also have 3 help
questions out there for slideshow
posting. I just can't seem to let
something go, even for a little
while until I am satisfied (perfect?)
with the results. I think that what I
need right now in something,
ANYTHING else to
take me away right now!



My heart is no longer thumping, but it still
does feel like a rock in my chest, and no it's
not medical. I am new at storing photos in
Picasa, so I was organizing albums, deleting
duplicates, etc. when I note came up saying
that some of the photos I deleted will be
removed from my BLOG!!! I raced with my
shaking fingers to my blog and images from
mine and Rexy's were not only gone, but
boxes with ugly red x's were left and all my
resolutions and settings were off. I felt sick.
I had sent out all these excited emails about
the proud new posts I had just done after
learning about my camera, learning to upload
pictures the way I wanted. Creating just the
right look I wanted and now my whole
computer was off, nothing was in proportion
any longer. The whole scheme of the blog
wrong. I was so upset that I couldn't even
cry. I HATED PICASA. They screwed not
only my blog, but my whole computer.
I had to resort to resetting my computer to
yesterday in order to get my look back. Plus
Rexy's Fetch post still needed a lot of work
to restore it. His header was gone and
needed to be reloaded and one of the side
images in his and my blog were gone.
I had to get it all fixed before anyone took
me up on my email and tried to look at it.

Even he knows the value and security of hard copy.
And he looks happy compared to me, but he's all
I've got that comes close to how I feel.



I had lunch with my friend Andrea today and she
mentioned that if I am going to have a blog for my
friends that I had an obligation to 'keep it up'.
I was stunned. I definitely agree and I have been
feeling a little guilty for letting it go, but I truly
didn't think that anyone was really interested.
Most of the 'hits' I get aren't from people I know.
The last time I talked to Andrea about the blogs,
she said that because of health issues that she
couldn't sit at the computer to read very often.
My daughter says she's too busy, Shirley says
that the print is too small for her to read, Nancy
won't even look at it under threat of....well you
get the picture. I went over all this in another
post previously entitled click on:
from March 18th. Also, I reminded Andrea
that she didn't check any of the boxes about
wanting to know more about anything and she
didn't leave any comments, but that I am so
pleased that she is interested and that really does
encourage me to post more often. Now that I
can get my pictures off my camera and into the
computer will definitely help.
Andrea asked me about Kyle and how his leg
was healing. He is doing just Great! He's in a
walking cast now and can even take it off for
I went to Ryan's baseball game for the 1st time
last Friday and Saturday. What a thrill to see
these small young boys play such a great game
with such concentration and purpose. This is
their first year at 10yrs old and they are
My stomach has been acting up again lately,
this has been going on since before Feb. when
I went to the E.R. (see Feb. post click on:
-I added pictures of me in E.R.-
check it out and see how CUTE I look-sic!) so
I went in for upper and lower scopes. The tests
are a cinch with versaid (a short term memory
loss and anti anxiety drug-I am not sure of the
correct spelling). I also had a gallbladder US
which showed that I have stones, but I really
think that my symptoms are from my stomach.
I have an appointment with my surgeon
tomorrow (he did the scopes) and being a
surgeon he will suggest gallbladder removal,
but since I am a reluctant patient and NOT
convinced my problem is my gb he won't get
too far with me. I'll report what he finally says.
I have been doing tons of gardening lately and
enjoying every second. I plan on taking some
pictures tomorrow for SPRING to report on.
Check out her blog for the latest gardening
REXY is so thrilled that he got pictures of
himself on his blog and lets you know how
wonderful he is!!!
I am done for now, but check back often,
since I will be keeping up with my posting.



Kyle broke his leg

As most of you know, I went to Southern California to attend a continuing education meeting at Cedar's Sinai and to visit my friend Helen on the way in Daley City and my friend Donna in Orange County. I planned on being away for about 3 weeks. The 300ish mile drive down to the bay area was great, pleasant and easy. Dinner and good conversation with Helen very enjoyable as usual. I planned on a new untried route to the L.A. , Orange County area which involved the switching of 2 freeways to highway 152 cutting over East to the 5 south to go straight through. Now for my non California blogging friends, the 5 So. goes through about 300miles of flat mostly barren dessert with some crops of irrigated fruit trees. The drive is long, fill with hug trucks, boring and forever, but it is the shortest, fastest route. The 152 surprised me! The drive was beautiful! There was apart that went through forrests and hills which reminded me of pictures of the Italian Mediterranean. I was enjoying it so much, right up to the time I came over a hill and there before me was the Pacific Ocean! I had gone the wrong way.Until that time, I didn't realize that I had a problem with east and west, but there it was, the Pacific Ocean not the dessert. I reversed course and went back. The 152 inland turned out to be an expedient and good cut over, but I had lost 2 1/2 hrs. driving time by going the wrong way. I was still feeling so good that I kept going and made the 400 mile trip to Donna's by 9pm that evening. It was okay.
What a joy to see my friend. We talked for days. I helped her some with reorganizing her laundry area. We did laundry and talked and ate and had fun. Donna's is on oxygen most of the time and it is hard for her to accomplish very much on her own. Her daughter Cassandra is very good about helping out and so is Mori her exhusband who takes care of the yard. It's funny how some people can be better friends when they are no longer married. Anyway, Mori has been a doll. Donna and I were about ready to 'attack' her 1st bedroom, getting it ready for her to sleep there when I got a call from Stacey Thursday morning telling me that Kyle had broke his leg skate boarding. Although it was very upsetting news there was nothing I could do, so I decided to stay at Donna's. We planned Easter dinner at Mori's with the rest of the family. I was so much looking forward to seeing everyone! Friday Donna wanted me to call about Kyle, but I didn't want to distract Stacey with a call and nothing would change with his leg until the following week when it was time for the hard cast. I planned on tentatively leaving early in the week instread of staying an extra week. But dear, dear Donna has very good wisdom, which I might add, her family under values because she is so emotional, and she called Stacey and Sachio answered and said that the bone settings were not right and that he need to have it reset, maybe with surgery.
That did it, I had the car packed and was out the door in less than an hour. I planned on driving to just north of San Francisco then stopping at a motel for some sleep so would get to Eureka by Saturday morning. I took the East Bay route to avoid The City, but got lost and ended up in S.F. hunting down the 101 No. Finally found it and was zipping out of town across the Golden Gate trying to make up time when I was pulled over by the cutest young patrol officer. He had me pull off the fwy before stopping. He asked me if I was in a hurry? Yes! I said, "My grandson broke his leg and may go to surgery and I had to get home and that it was probably best that he pulled me over because I was so upset and I knew that I was too much in a hurry." He wrote me up for a 'fix it ticket' for my taillight, but not for speeding. Now, I didn't 'get out of' a ticket. I am not that clever. I just told the truth. I drove slower, but I still did speed, just not 75 in a 55. I found that I couldn't stop, I would just pace the floor if I did. I needed to get home! So I made the almost 800 miles in 12 1/2 hours and was still too keyed up to go right to sleep when I got home. Rexy was so very excited to see me. Check out his blog. I didn't call the kids as it was about 1:30 am. I went over there early the next morning. Kyle's resetting went very well, the first one, by the ER doc was off by about 1/2 inch! The Orthopod corrected it under anesthesia which helped Kyle's pain levels quite a bit. Kyle had fractured both bones in his right lower leg just above the growth plates in his ankle. We were concerned that if it wasn't done right that that tibia growth plate may be damaged and that the leg may not continue to grow. Scary stuff. I also wanted Kyle to know that he's loved enough and valuable enough for me to get back to him. He gets uncomfortable and we must rearrange his leg cushions often, recover him with the comforter, get his fluids and food, and help him to the bathroom. I brought over my shower chair from my garage attic storage so we could bathe him seated with the leg wrapped in plastic out side of the tub-shower. Stacey needed help. Attending Kyle is a full time job. Sachio helps and so does Ryan, but they are not the mom. I run errands, do laundry, and anything else Stacey needs help with, like being with Kyle while she takes a shower. It's like having a new baby in the house. Ryan, my youngest grandson and Kyle's brother is so used to being 'the baby' of the family, it was hard for him to see Kyle getting all this attention. The accident through off the whole of the family dynamics. Ryan and I had a talk ( I talked, Ryan whined) about how dangerous Kyle's break was. I took a pencil and broke it explaining how Kyle can't put weight on the bones and how he may lose height if the leg is bumped, or disturbed in any way and how it's his turn to take care of Kyle. Ryan was wonderful. He stopped whining and helped Kyle. Later Kyle needed to be reminded that Ryan wasn't his slave. I love them both so much.
Aine came over for Easter and brought salad and carrot cake.We hid plastic eggs on the couch for Kyle while he was in the bathroom and around the house for Ryan.
Stacey rented a bunch of movies and video games. Then we ordered Pizza from Round Table. Veggie, Pepperoni, Sauage and Mushroom, and a half Hawaiian and half Garlic Chicken. It turned out to be a great Easter for which we were all blessed and greatful.



Another blogger friend, who bravely has shared the pain of her childhood in her blog and the caring comments from other blogging friends has prompted me to write this post.
I don't ever remember having difficultly distinguishing compassion and understanding or the ability of imaging myself in someone else's shoes from expecting myself to take responsibility for my behavior. I think that some people do have a problem with this. Perhaps they're afraid that if they feel compassion for a guilty party that that means automatic forgiveness and exoneration of responsibility.
Often I've heard some folks say that a crappy childhood is not an excuse for bad and certainly not evil behavior. Well, I don't agree, no excuse is necessary. I can truly understand that if I were raised without love, boundaries, or being taught about respect for others let alone being raised unloved, not respected, not disciplined, or physically abused or tortured that I would (may) only know to do the same to anyone else who may displease me or who may have what I want. The rage resulting from such traumatic treatment could and often does result in dishonorable behavior and can be repeated from generation to generation. Does this tragic mind set of fear of compassion mean understanding without responsibility. Of course not. Behavior no matter how well tied to understanding and compassion must have consequences and it's okay to 'feel for the guy' even if those consequences include being locked away forever or in the extreme, death, so that person may never do the heinous behavior again.
'Oh', you say, 'we all know right from wrong and have a choice'. Not necessarily.
We all know what the general moral conscience is from society, but the absence of moral conscience may be how we were raised. If my father beat me as a child I may strongly and justifiably beat my child, disregarding the current societal views that corporal punishment is illegal. But remember when...spare the rod and spoil the child? I believe that we are all born with a capacity for moral conscience, but unless that capacity is filled by compassionate training it can be lost or buried to the degree of non existence.
My mother did feel love for me, of this, I have no doubt. But she did not know how to nurture or value another person which to me is true love. She was very self centered and had little respect for others.
She did not physically abuse me. But she did not set boundaries for me nor did she have disciplanary expectations of me. And she blamed me for my shortcomings in order to exonerate her own. She only did as she was raised. I of course, married a man who would sustain this model of myself. He did a great job. I continued to blame and hate myself for my behaviors and attitudes, but kept my beliefs sometimes unknown to myself and blamed and hated others for their behaviors and attitudes. Was my behavior understandable since it was all I knew? Sure. Was I responsible for it? You betcha! I was one of the lucky ones. I was miserable. And hurt. Enough to go to therapy. Many, maybe even most sick people inflict enough of their pain on to others to the degree that they aren't aware that they even feel it themselves. Sometimes they get enough power over others by imposing their pain on them that they never have the need to change anything. As I said I was lucky. I hurt. So I wanted to change things, to raise my daughter better, to break the family cycle of absence of really truly giving love. Now I didn't just run out and do this. I had no gauges, no measure, no feeling for love that wasn't self centered. But I knew one thing. That I was responsible for how well my daughter grew up. Was I a good mother. No. But I was better than my mother and I took responsibility with my daughter. I told her my story and also told her that the way she was raised was not her fault! Unlike what my mother told me. My daughter now had work of her own to do. She had to change herself in order to better raise her children. She learned that that was her responsibility. That girl has character. And she has done a great job. Much better than I could have dreamed for. Sure my grandsons won't grow up to be perfect people, but they are loved and nurtured and protected and disciplined and raised with a respect and love for God. Oh by the way, did my daughter ever take it out on me for opening the door to blame me. Of course. And I took a hammering for awhile, then I told her that the statutes of limitations had run out and that the remnants of 'mean mom' in her head were her responcibility to change. I had changed, now it was her turn. And yes, eventually she has forgiven me, but really the only thing that matters here is that our boys have not inherited the 'family' dysfunction and that the cycle has been broken after only God knows how many generations. How's that for helping to change the world for the better.
Wait a minute! How did I get all that wisdom in the first paragraph about compassion and understanding and separation from responsibility? Oh, it was always there, like, I believe in all of us, buried under tons of crap, crap that can make some of us go out and murder or make others miserable to relieve the rage. Like I said, I was lucky,
I turned my rage inward, 'thanks mom', and hurt. If I'd turned it outward, well I wouldn't be here would I.



This is something I have never seen before, or ever even heard of. This woman lives in a Hummingbird fly zone. As they migrated, about 20 of them were in her yard. She took the little red dish, filled it with sugar water and this is the result.The woman is Abagail Alfano of Pine, Louisiana - she has been studying them daily and one morning put the cup from the feeder, with water in it, in her hand; as they had gotten used to her standing by the feeder they came over to her hand. She says in touching they are as light as a feather.
Touching Hummingbirds




When Did You Become An Adult!!!

As I was leaving my daughter's house last
evening at about 8p.m. you were asked to
walk me to my car which was parked on the
street. On the front porch, I said that you
didn't need to walk me all the way out.
You can just watch me from here. "No
grandma, I can't. I'm walking you all the
way out." No, you don't have to, I replied.
"Yes, I do", you said firmly. Your tone of
voice surprized me. How adult. How
determined. It was So. You were walking
me out and that was that. Last I looked
you were a typical, some what argumentitive
thirteen year old. Who was this man who
was seeing me safely to my car? I was used
to kids your age who either laughed at or
were dazed by mannerly expectations.
Wow! I thought. When you start dating,
if you treat young girls this way, their
mom's will be in heaven.


Blogging is relatively new to me. My main motive was to write about my experiences with family and friends and thereby keep everyone in the loop and for them to know what was going on with each individual or group. However the responses I've received about this simple undertaking have been quite astonishing. My daughter when asked if she had looked at my blog, responded "Oh, mom, I know all that stuff you wrote". But, when we looked at it together, she kept replying, "I didn't know that"! My friend Nancy avoided answering me when I asked if she had looked at it. Then finally at lunch she crossed her fingers in front of me and said "Enough already, I don't do blogs". What's THAT supposed to mean. Is it like I don't do books, or I don't do museums or movies? Blogs are so unique and different I couldn't quite understand, but saying so would have sounded like arguing. Finally I said to her, please, "It's like I just bought a new dress that I am quite proud of and you won't even LOOK at it. Would you please, just look at it? That's all I'm asking".
She agreed to look at it, but had 'lost' the address. I haven't sent it to her yet. Do you think that I am pouting? Hum. My friend Helen was quite excited for me that I took on such a splended new undertaking. I kissed her as tears threatened to well up in my eyes. After all, this blog has become my own creation and has taken on greater meaning to me than I originally intended. Helen then said that she thought maybe some people thought that I expected them to follow what I was writing on a regular day-to-day basis, becoming a responsiblilty. No, I protested! I just wanted them to look at it! -well maybe occasionally. My friend Shirley can't see small print, so she's not interested. Donna and her daughter Cassandra have shown an interest. My friend Aine doesn't have a computer so I printed it out and gave her a copy. She loves it.
Aine's daughter, Laura looked at it and said that she liked it.
My friend and vet, Erzsi, who sends me an annual Christmas letter, which I like because it keeps me update about her family life, says she won't look at it because she doesn't have time. I've emailed many others with the news and the blog address, but I don't know if any of them have looked. I've gotten more hits than I expected from such specifically personal ramblings, but I don't know who these people are or if they will ever return or even why they would.



I haven't had this much fun since I first started card making. It all started when I received a hand made card from a friend. The feeling that I got when I opened the envelope and looked at something someone else had gone to the trouble just to send to me was incredible. I felt cared about and special. I knew then that I wanted to give this gift of loving to others and dove into stamping with a passion. Of course I had to have all the paraphernalia that went with the craft. I found that I never met a stamp that I couldn't use. Oh, the techniques and tips which I gobbled up, as quickly as I could, never choked me. I swallowed with gusto! Luckily I had a good job and made enough money to support my addictive habit! Who knows what length I would have gone to to get what I wanted if I couldn't make my own money. Perhaps standing on street corners with signs saying:
" Will work for Alcohol Ink".
I never thought that I would scrapbook, that is too much like cut and paste with someone else's artwork. How little did I know. One day it just occurred to me-Stamping IS using someone else's artwork. I don't want to necessarily be an original purist, I just want to assemble creatively, so off to the scrapbooking venues with gusto, I went. To the stores, websites, card parties, I went for 12 x 12 papers, albums, and all and any ephemera I could get my hands on to make the perfect page. Now I am retired with a craft room that looks like a crap room jammed with STUFF for a lifetime and no money to buy MORE!!! Then my sweet daughter comes along and innocently suggests that I join Facebook, it is so much fun and keeps one in touch with friends almost daily rather than by the occassional email. So I did.

I immediately recognized that a line or two about me wasn't enough! I had to have more, so I explored blogging and here I am . Can't sleep, up all night learning electronic techniques. Must have more ideas! I roam from site to site for ways to enhance my pages. How do I get THAT background page template? How come they can put pictures mid blog. What's an Html? What's an URL? How many images (they are so much like pre colorized stamps) can I save to my documents before my computer crashes!
I go over each posting (blog) with intense care.
I refine daily.
I search other people's blogs for techniques. I haven't dressed for days. I GOTTA GET OUTA TOWN. Hey, I'm back. I LOVE it all.

p.s. Know any good techniques or interesting ways to do stuff?



I am the Friggin' Happiness Fairy.
I've sprinkled happy dust on you.
So Smile, dammit.

I often receive very
interesting emails from my
friend Jacque. In fact, she
IS one of the most
interesting people I know.
I have some comments to
make about that email
which I have following here.
I'll save my comments for below hers.
DVD based upon a book Happy for No Reason:
7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out .
Available in paperback at, by
Marci Shimoff (Author), Carol Kline (Contributor)
Because the author's position is that happiness is
a self-help, bootstrap, inside job, my attention
was captured immediately. The author's position
is not based upon "airy fairy" supposition, but is
based upon current scientific thought and
experiementation with interviews with various
scientist who are experimenting with ways to
change the brain. As one scientist put it, the
brain is plastic and can continue to change up to
the day we die. How we feel, what we think
about changes the brain chemistry. Good
thoughts and emotions give us beneficial
chemistry and visa versa. This is all very much
in sync with what Abraham teachesSo,
I love it,natch!
Yes, I sent my money in and will receive the DVD
in time. Cost a lot because it's a contribution to
PBS. Well, that's as good a way to spend money
as anything else I've bought lately,
like that vacuum cleaner.
Jacque's reference to happiness and brain
chemistry reminded me of a day many years
ago when I was a young housewife and not
a particularly happy person. I remember
being in my livingroom doing some chore
when suddenly I was 'flooded' with happiness
of such great magnitude that I told myself
that I should always remember this moment
as it was unusually significant. I probably had
a surge of estrogen! None the less it was a
wonderful moment for me.I have for most of my
life chased a disire for happiness. At one time, like
most girls, I thought it would be when I met Prince
Charming.Well when HE didn't work out, I thought
happiness would come from being self sufficient and
self supporting. That actually helped, but it didn't bring
the real thing.Getting nearer to God came the closest
at one time. I think it was that God and graditude go
hand in hand. It really is hard to be self centered and
grateful at the same time. But He didn't really work out
either.After time, I managed to get things that I truly
wanted. A house, a new car, a little financial security,
really good friends,loving grandchildren, my daughters
forgiveness, 6 cats, 2rats,and decent neighbors.
Finally, after about 60 or so years I found
out in group therapy that I wasn't really
EVIL inside
(now at the same time it was outwardly news to me that I
believed such a thing) it was then as time passed I
gained the contentment that I now have inside
and I can honestly say that I am a happy
person.So does this mean that happiness can
be ours with a little help from internal drugs
and having a good self image?I guess so
except that for me, the estrogen is gone and
I REALLY saw myself in the mirror yesterday
so the good self image is shot!I think that the
therapy thing and God worked the best as vehicles to
allow me to appreciate my other gifts, oh and it does
really really help to have a GOOD vaccuum with 6 cats.


Friend Andrea

We lost Andrea this year. She was finally taken
by her illness. She will be so very missed.
I did inherit her dog, not the one pictured here,
but Dexter, and her cat Zoe.
This is my dear friend Andrea and dog Max. Andrea and I have a long history together. We were widowed at about the same time and met in a very helpful group. Like me, Andrea's husband was enough friend for her so his loss was everything. I needed a friend too, so we got together. We've had a lot of fun over the years. We celebrate birthdays, holidays, and have gone to plays, garden tours and out to dinner many times. I have never been able to find it in another friend who likes to do all the same fun activities with the same passion as I do. For example this coming spring, again "who do I go Garden Touring with". Hopefully again this year my daughter will have time to go.
Andrea has always loved to travel. I never cared to, but liked seeing her many travel pictures and hearing about her adventures. I have a wonderful picture of her from her trip to Greece one year. It is a lovely profile, she's without makeup because of the heat, and the image is a work of art! I'll get it into the blog eventually.
Since her accident on her last trip we haven't been able to go places outside of her house, but that doesn't stop Andrea! She's one of the busiest people I know. We have luncheon parties together, travel in her family picture books, and she tells me all about the latest art classes she takes on her computer.
Andrea still wants a man in her life, preferably one also on oxygen so that they can be heavy breathers together!!!



This is my cousin Billy's wife Barbara. Isn't she beautiful! Now I just need a picture of him and a pic of them both for here and my scrapbook.
I discovered Billy on when I was researching family history for the genealogy scrapbook I am composing for the boys. I was thrilled! I hadn't seen Billy since we were both young adults and then he didn't remember me too well, yet I had the fondest memories of him when we were very young children.
I am sending Billy all the old family pictures from my possession and in return he is cleaning them up and processing them so that I can put them into the album. I will make him an album too at the same time. Billy and Barbara are big family history buffs so I think that they will enjoy it. I do have some photoshop and other photo software that I want to learn so I can do some work myself, but since the rats ate the speaker wires I don't have audio right now (Oh, that story is for another blog).


Most of you know that I have chronic stomach problems and lately it's become an acute problem. I just had to cancel a birthday luncheon with Andrea in which she was surprising me by inviting our mutual friend Nancy who was bringing a cake! As I am writing this, it is the middle of the night because I have esophageal reflux so bad that it spasms when I lie down. Help is on the way. My doc has prescribed some good meds and I am on the mend. When this all started I was at my daughter's staying the night and woke with severe pain which led us to the ER. I wasn't sure if it was heart or stomach. My foremost thought was "I can't die, I haven't finished the boys ancestry album!!". Which later brought me to wondering what keeps each of us alive?
I would have been truly been 'broken hearted' if I couldn't complete this loving task for my grandsons since I am the only one with all the information. There are very old family pictures in which I am the only one who knows the stories behind these photos. I know that my friend Helen's life accumulating goal is to write her book. This event has led me to the curiousity of wondering what goal, not yet realized experience, or yearning keeps you alive